Hey Genevieve!
Welcome to the site....

I run a web design company, and I've had to do just what you're asking about...and it's never easy. As a Christian, our primary goal is to show love when we turn down a project, not to 'be right' or judge what it is that we're turning down (by which I mean, it's God's job to judge the person and what they do, not ours...). So, this has led me to a philosophy that, hopefully, is God-pleasing and avoids looking like a sterotypical "Judgemental Christian".

My philosophy has been: Love First. Details if pushed.

By this, I mean, I spend 100% of the 'turn down' email being loving and avoiding anything that sounds even remotely judgmental. I don't lie, but I also don't feel the need to tell them all my thoughts on why I wouldn't take their project. Then, if they really want to push and ask exactly why...I'll tell them gently.

In your case, for example, I'd probably leave the words "objectionable" and "adult content" out of the email. Obviously the creator of the art doesn't think it's 'objectionable' or they wouldn't be making it. They may think it's 'adult', but that too often carries with it the idea of "I think you're creating porn"...and that degrades their 'art' as well.

You might simply say that you're glad they gave you the opportunity to work with them, but that you don't think the project is a very good fit for your business....and leave it at that. If they press you for more details, then you can take it a step further and say something about how you 'evaluate your clients on a case by case basis to see if they fit with the direction your business is going'..then expand on that direction a little.... If they push even further...then take them one step further...etc.

I find that usually the initial 'it's not a good fit' is usually the end of it. At that point, you've lovingly declined without passing judgement or drumming up a whole bunch of Christian stereotypes in their head.

Hope that helps!

"We/I will not be able to work with you/your company on this project based on the family values we have founded on our Christian beliefs. Thank you for contacting me about this project. If you need services for any other project please don't hesitate to contact me/us. God Bless, YourName"

I don't own a business but that is what I would say if I did. If you get politically correct and skirt the issue are you not hiding your faith?? Please don't take this as a personal attack. This is a very complicated issue that will/could hit many people's strings.

Just my thoughts.

Chris

Hey Genevieve,

What's a RFP???

The text below is my un-educated, un-certified, and un-official opinion:

Hiding your faith? Great question!

Do I go so far and offend everyone by suggesting you either:
A: "Bulldoze them over with Jesus"
B: Just tell them you are uncomfortable with "underthings" and "naughty-bits"

I think the important thing is to have a balance. I have an interesting perspective on that since I have been in "less friendly" and "not-so-free" countries.... I'm not going to hide my faith. But I am not going to dance around the police station, wearing a Jesus t-shirt, to pass out tracts while singing Hillsong music either! Sorry, I don't want to go off topic

Personally, I have no problem with a Christian being diplomatic to someone. But I know that there are times when a Christian DOES need to get firm in their beliefs.

Of course, people do react differently. You could "blast them with the gospel" and they just smile and take it. Or you can simply say, "Sorry, but I'm a bit old fashioned". And they freak out and go off on you, threatening to sue for discrimination.

I guess you can also put some kind of disclaimer somewhere on your site (or in the contact form for a quote) that does state that you reserve the right to decline a potential client for any reason that you deem fit. That way they do see and have to acknowledge, by clicking on the box, that you can just decline to work with them. Of course, you can go into more detail on reasons why you would decline a client. But that might help "filter" out the 'questionable clients' before you're fully contacted. And that might also help protect you legally if some idiot, with a lawyer, and wants to give you a hard time.

That's my 2 Euro cents worth ;-)

Shane -

All really helpful answers, guys! I really appreciate it--you've helped me look at this thing from some different angles.

My initial thinking was something along the lines of what Rob suggested, except I just know I'll be pressed further, so I'm thinking I should be a bit more up front (diplomatically honest) in my refusal. Still mulling over what I'm actually going to say...

While I'm certainly not ashamed of my faith, I try to be diplomatic in the way I conduct my business. Running my own business has opened the door to many witnessing opportunities, but ultimately it's a business and not a preaching platform, so I try not to just bang people over the head with it. I don't mind if people are offended by my faith, I just don't want them to be offended by the way I present my faith to them, know I mean? I guess in the end that's probably a fine line...

I think I have "I reserve the right to refuse a project for any reason" somewhere in my basic terms, but yes, I'll definitely be adding some sort of disclaimer to my site after this experience! :)

And RFP = Request for Proposal. :)

I wish I had seen this question when it was originally posted, as I have a different spin on the answer.

First, personally I have no objection to the idea of "boudoir" photography inside the context of marriage, though I would never want a male photog taking such photos of my bride. I have often wondered what people do with those photos years later when the bride doesn't look like that anymore or even when kids are around.

My bigger question would be this: if a photographer does this type of photography, I would assume it would be a private thing. Does the photog in question actually have model releases to put her subjects' "naughty bits" in her advertising and on the web? If not, I'd run screaming from the project. If she does, then I would still shy away from the project for moral reasons (not wanting to be a party to posting that type of content on the web).

If the photog wanted to make a statement that she would do that type of photography in a tasteful and discreet way, then I would put that statement on a site, but no photos. There are plenty of people who would gladly take the project without having my reservations. If the project is to be done by me, then my statements would hold firm.

So, I was wondering, Genevieve, how did this turn out?

Steve

Its better to say no rather then getting into a situation from which you can not come out.
Whatever your friend is doing, its her matter and what you want to do is totally up to you. So, be clear to her and tell her honestly that you can not let yourself involve into all this.....